Unconditional Welcome

One church we attended down here decided to have an outdoors service one 4th of July. The pulpit area was set up in front of the playground; bleachers and lawnchairs under tents about 20 feet away faced the pulpit. The children's service had been cancelled, so Barry didn't have any children's worship responsibilites. I was working in the nursery that day, so Barry went to the service by himself. About half an hour into the service, Barry came into the nursery.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

Barry was clearly upset. "The pastor told the parents to get their kids off the playground equipment because they were disrupting the service. No one could hear those kids. Besides, they were 4 and 5 years old. We're done here."

A few months later, we left. A few months after that, we started attending HOPE Chapel on post.

But to broaden our horizons, we attended a service at a highly-recommended church about 20 minutes off post. The children's ministry is great; one entire wing of the building is designated for kids. This area is divided into classrooms and nursery areas. The largest section (about the size of a small basketball court) is decorated with a large pirate ship, complete with a snack bar and game room. Syd and Bryce loved it, of course. Bryan, though, wasn't feeling it.

So we thought we'd take him and Brady into the service with us. As we were walking toward the sanctuary, a nice man offered to help us find the appropriate nursery rooms.

"Oh, they're not ready for that," Barry told him.

The man stopped, then said, "Well, here's the door to the section of the sanctuary where you can sit with them. If they get too loud, you can bring them in this room." He pointed to a room next to the sanctuary.

We managed to say thanks as we made our way to the roped off far-left back corner of the worship area designated for parents with kids. Browsing the bulletin, we found a statement asking us to remain in this section out of respect for others.

I took a deep breath, determined not to let this bother me. This church has a great reputation for incorporating the elements of worship we'd been part of in college. We wanted to enjoy this service, walk away with something meaningful. So no bad attitudes from us! The live band and worship team were incredible. Music is a large part of our lives, and Bryan loved clapping his hands and bouncing to the rhythm. Brady stared wide-eyed at the people sitting around us, flirting with a cute little girl and her mom.

After the drama presentation and immediately before the pastor took the podium, an announcement came over the speakers: "Welcome to [our church]. Please turn off all cell phones and pagers during the service. If you have small children, please take them to the nursery area so all can enjoy the service. If you choose not to, please remain in the designated area of the sanctuary. A crying room is available for loud children. And remember, the service can be viewed and heard through closed-circuit monitors in the hall."

Eventually both of us ended up in the hall, comforting our stressed-out, unwelcome children. Oh, yeah: the closed-circuit monitors were nowhere to be found. We missed the sermon because Bryan wanted to tell us the colors of his crayons and Brady wanted to babble. We were the only ones who could hear them, but for fear of offending the church, we stressed over our kids' normal, happy noises.

On the way home, Syd & Bryce told us about their experience. They loved the pirate ship and the children's program. Could we go back? they wanted to know. Barry and I looked at each other. Then Barry said what both of us had been thinking: "Jesus didn't tell the disciples to take the kids away. Why is family-style worship so not wanted?"

I can certainly understand people being annoyed with obnoxious kids. But isn't a cheery toddler different than a talking teenager? Were our kids disrespectful? Absolutely not: they acted the way babies do. Disrespectful behavior should be dealt with immediately. But this church told us our kids were not welcome in their service regardless of the motives for their noise.

Our chaplain on post said--from the pulpit--to think of chapel as God's living room. "So what if your kids jump on the pews. I don't care if they get away and run down the aisle. Do they want to talk? Fine. Let them! Everyone is welcome. We're family, and kids and their kid noises don't bother me. They shouldn't bother you! Kids are kids, and they are our future. We need to train them, show them, demonstrate worship."

Needless to say, we decided to stay at HOPE Chapel. We'll attend church where kids are unconditionally welcome.


Bryan and Brady share crayons and a large mat board after our Bible story one Sunday.